DataiForums
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.


Pokemon Liberalists
 
HomeLatest imagesSearchRegisterLog in
Continue? y/n? Continue? y/n? Continue? y/n? Continue? y/n? Continue? y/n? Continue? y/n? Continue? y/n?
Poll
Similar topics
Search
 
 

Display results as :
 
Rechercher Advanced Search
Latest topics
» Anyone alive?
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic EmptyFri Apr 07, 2023 10:54 pm by Datai

» Pokemon starters: Hurt and Heal
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic EmptyThu Dec 15, 2022 5:42 am by GypsyGrifter

» Spamalamadingdong
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic EmptyTue Apr 05, 2016 9:13 pm by Batman

» Datai's Dark Souls Play-through- Burpin' Plinkin' Drinkin'
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic EmptyTue Mar 15, 2016 11:23 am by Batman

» Soooooooooooooooo
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic EmptyTue Mar 01, 2016 10:15 pm by Batman

» He's alive
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic EmptyTue Feb 16, 2016 5:50 pm by primeAlternative

» Datai's Heart Gold vs Crystal Playthrough
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic EmptyThu Oct 22, 2015 11:59 pm by Irawesome

» Behold My Awesomeness
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic EmptyThu Oct 22, 2015 11:58 pm by Irawesome

» Favorite Manga
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic EmptyMon Feb 16, 2015 6:10 pm by Irawesome

Top posters
Burntnorris (398)
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_lcapAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_voting_barAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_rcap 
Hekeshi (387)
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_lcapAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_voting_barAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_rcap 
primeAlternative (333)
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_lcapAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_voting_barAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_rcap 
StephenColbert (274)
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_lcapAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_voting_barAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_rcap 
TheCelticKing (228)
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_lcapAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_voting_barAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_rcap 
Batman (194)
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_lcapAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_voting_barAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_rcap 
GypsyGrifter (157)
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_lcapAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_voting_barAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_rcap 
Elementro (68)
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_lcapAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_voting_barAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_rcap 
Irawesome (54)
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_lcapAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_voting_barAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_rcap 
Aaron Slime (49)
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_lcapAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_voting_barAmphy Wrote A Fanfic I_vote_rcap 
Navigation
 Portal
 Index
 Memberlist
 Profile
 FAQ
 Search
Forum

 

 Amphy Wrote A Fanfic

Go down 
3 posters
AuthorMessage
PingasPatrol
POST MOAR!
PingasPatrol


Posts : 32
Points : 5227
Street Rep : 0
Join date : 2010-07-17

Amphy Wrote A Fanfic Empty
PostSubject: Amphy Wrote A Fanfic   Amphy Wrote A Fanfic EmptySat Oct 30, 2010 12:15 pm

Well, I wrote this about a month ago. It's based loosely off Fire Emblem, probably the most awesome of series of all time. It looks like it'd be the start of something, but it's just a standalone piece. Feel free to nitpick.

It feels like the world is spinning beneath me… the ground underneath me feels soft, and the grass is brushing against my cheek. At least I think its grass. Why can’t I open my eyes? I need to get up; I need to… what do I need to do? I can’t remember.

“She’s over here boys! Let’s get her while she’s down!” That voice. It’s familiar, but I can’t put my finger on it. My heart is racing, as if I know this voice, and should be terrified. I still can’t open my eyes, and the footsteps are getting closer. Yet I still do nothing, I simply lay here, waiting for something to happen. Waiting.

---

“How was the retrieval Dennis?” yelled a cold, rough voice.
“It went well sir, Lance was injured but the rest of the group is unscathed and the girl has been captured as you can see here,” yelled the voice heard earlier. I finally mustered the strength to open my eyes, and saw a group of men, armed with axes. I looked to the side and saw my clothes were torn towards the sleeves, and there was a gash on my left leg. The clothes were meant to be white, but now they were mostly red, and several ropes bound me in place. I took a moment to survey my surroundings; the room was dark, with the only light coming from a few torches and a window high above me. “And she awakes. Lord Avery’s daughter, Laura.”
“We’ll get more then a few pennies from this one. But in the meantime we can have some fun with her.” The trio laughed, then moved closer.

Suddenly, an arrow flew through the air, striking the first bandit in the chest, who fell to his knees, screaming in agony. The second bandit launched himself out of the way, as a second arrow flew past, barely missing the brute’s skull. The arrow’s force carried it across the room, towards me. The archer’s blunder had cost me my life, and I shut my eyes waiting for the end. However, the arrow cut one of the ropes, while it was still around my wrists I was almost free, all it would take is one more arrow. And sure enough, the arrow rushed towards me, and I was free, although my hands were still bound together. Spotting the sword next to me, I slowly used the end to remove the rope. More another pair of bandits rushed into the room, armed with Lances, as the second bandit took a hit to the chest. However, they unmasked the archer’s position, and charged at him. Desperately the man tried to load more arrows, hitting a lance-wielding bandit in the leg, but the others reached him. I could’ve left. I could’ve walked away from all of it. But I didn’t. I picked up the sword and charged, slashing the third man’s buddy in the back. The last bandit, Dennis, looked around. All of his comrades had fallen. “This isn’t over!” he yelled The candles went out and the room was shrouded in darkness, and the bandit seized the opportunity, fleeing out of the wooden door.

“Damn it, he got away again,” cursed the archer, who was about to run and follow.
“Wait, stop! Who are you? And how did you know I was here?” I panted, my leg was still in pain, making it hard to keep balanced. “I saw them out on the field, and followed them. I’ve been following them for a while; they’ve got a large bounty on their heads. Only problem was, it was the guy who escaped with the bounty on his head.” The man pulled out a poster of a gashed, unshaven face, with dull eyes. “My name is Isaac, bounty hunter. I’m leaving now, stay out of trouble miss.” He turned and left. I heard a loud thump, the sword. I hadn’t noticed it, but I was still clutching it the entire time. It felt oddly weightless in my hands the entire time. I quickly picked it back up and ran after Isaac, who was at the edge of the land, mounting a horse.

“Wait!” I yelled.
“What is it?” he moaned.
“Let me help you! Together we can hunt that bandit down!” After I said that, there was a pause.
“I don’t need help from any woman. Don’t get your pretty hair twisted.” he snorted.
“What did you say?” I began to get angry, how dare he mock me.
“Woman are useless in combat, I’d stay out of it if I were you.”
I gestured towards the hut. “Tell that to the bandit.”
Isaac turned his head away. “You got lucky. Plus you got him from behind. If you had attacked from the front you’d be dead. Don’t waste the life I just saved. You don’t belong in the world of men.” With that, he began to ran away. I pulled out my last resort.
“If that’s so true, fight me!” I yelled.
“You fight me?” he laughed. I could easily beat you in combat.
“Then how about a sword to sword battle. We’ll see who’s weak after that!” My eyes were glaring, I was fuming with rage.
“I don’t hit girls. It’s shameful.” He began to walk away again.
“Then let’s make the fight a little more interesting. If I win, you take me with you on your bounty hunt. If you win, you get this.” I gestured to the sword, which was encrusted with rubies.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I win when you surrender. You win if you hit me.”

Isaac drew a sword, and then stepped forward. “You can go first, girl.”
“You doubt me? A lady of the Kaze?” I lifted my sword and charged. Isaac was in shock, almost not reacting in time, lifting his sword to block the first blow, then jumping out the way of a second one. His light clothing meant he was able to make very quickly, dodging attack after attack with ease. Eventually, I tripped, landing face first in the grass.
“Give up yet? I’d expect more from a lady of the Kane,” yelled Isaac, showing a hint of smugness in his voice; walking slowly over.
“I won’t lose. I can’t.” I forced my body back up, and picked up the blade in my aching hands. “I will not disgrace my tribe!” the sword seemed to react to these words. Although I was tiring the sword seemed to be attacking on it’s own.
“What in the world is this? Cut the crap, what are you doing?” he panicked, struggling to block the blows.
“I think I’m winning,” I leapt into the air and dove down at him, hitting the weak point in his guard, knocking him to the floor. “Who’s superior now?”
“I-I don’t believe this. Beaten by a mere girl. If my brother saw this he would be ashamed of me. My reputation as a bounty hunter is ruined. This is terrible.” Panicked Isaac.

I walked over, and held out a hand, to lift him back up. “No. I should just lay here like the dirt I am. A wench bested me. I must live the rest of my life in solitude, as are the rules of my tribe. Only then can honour be restored to my name.”
“What good would that do for anyone? Besides, we had a deal, we’re partners now, we can’t leave the other. Isaac, we must persevere for a better future. Act only today, tomorrow is too late.” I enquired.
“Thank you Laura. You’ve given me the resolve to keep on. We can find this bandit and bring him to justice. For a better future for both of us, and the world. Your wounds are pretty bad; we should get to a village before nightfall. There should be one at the base of the mountain if you can make it.” Isaac lifted his head, and pushed himself back up, unharmed. I limped a little, I did not realise how much damage the fall did to my leg, I knew it landed awkwardly, but I was too busy fighting to notice. Isaac noted this: “Take my horse then. I’ll be there in a few hours. I have business to take care of.”
Back to top Go down
primeAlternative
THIS IS SPARTA!!!!
primeAlternative


Posts : 333
Points : 6038
Street Rep : 0
Join date : 2010-07-21
Age : 28
Location : stillwater, OK

Character
HP:
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic Left_bar_bleue69/69Amphy Wrote A Fanfic Empty_bar_bleue  (69/69)
HP:
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic Left_bar_bleue69/69Amphy Wrote A Fanfic Empty_bar_bleue  (69/69)

Amphy Wrote A Fanfic Empty
PostSubject: Re: Amphy Wrote A Fanfic   Amphy Wrote A Fanfic EmptySat Oct 30, 2010 9:00 pm

what an akward ending, make a sequal (or however u speel it)
Back to top Go down
PingasPatrol
POST MOAR!
PingasPatrol


Posts : 32
Points : 5227
Street Rep : 0
Join date : 2010-07-17

Amphy Wrote A Fanfic Empty
PostSubject: Re: Amphy Wrote A Fanfic   Amphy Wrote A Fanfic EmptySun Oct 31, 2010 4:39 am

I know the ending is awkward, I was considering making it longer but I couldn't bring out anything worth writing.
Back to top Go down
GypsyGrifter
Admin
GypsyGrifter


Posts : 157
Points : 6072
Street Rep : 0
Join date : 2010-10-17
Age : 28
Location : Seattle, WA

Character
HP:
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic Left_bar_bleue9001/9001Amphy Wrote A Fanfic Empty_bar_bleue  (9001/9001)
HP:
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic Left_bar_bleue9001/9001Amphy Wrote A Fanfic Empty_bar_bleue  (9001/9001)

Amphy Wrote A Fanfic Empty
PostSubject: Re: Amphy Wrote A Fanfic   Amphy Wrote A Fanfic EmptySun Oct 31, 2010 11:28 am

you're supposed to make a new paragraph whenever someone talks D:<I R GRAMMAR NAZI
Back to top Go down
PingasPatrol
POST MOAR!
PingasPatrol


Posts : 32
Points : 5227
Street Rep : 0
Join date : 2010-07-17

Amphy Wrote A Fanfic Empty
PostSubject: Re: Amphy Wrote A Fanfic   Amphy Wrote A Fanfic EmptySun Oct 31, 2010 11:56 am

Either a new line, or a different line. Which it is on.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content





Amphy Wrote A Fanfic Empty
PostSubject: Re: Amphy Wrote A Fanfic   Amphy Wrote A Fanfic Empty

Back to top Go down
 
Amphy Wrote A Fanfic
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» the ULTIMATE Fanfic
» Here's a little Fic I wrote, hope you will sing it note for note

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
DataiForums :: Fan Stuff :: Fan Fiction-
Jump to: